Delicious Bread Comix

An Upsetting Number of Games: Karuta

2011-08-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

The third in our series of game tutorials for English teachers. Link.

An Upsetting Number of Games: The Line Game

2011-07-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's the next game tutorial. This time, it's one of the simplest games in the book: the line game.

Enjoy!

An Upsetting Number of Games: Tutorial

2011-07-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Summer has started, which means two things for the ALT. First, we're gonna have a metric fuckton of free time to fritter away. Second, it means the old ALTs are leaving and the new ones are coming in.

With these two things in mind, I've decided to fritter away my time by working on some game tutorials for new ALTs teaching at elementary schools. Most of this information will be old news to ALTs with a year under their belt, but you might find a few variants you haven't seen yet.

Feel free to use, modify, and share. If there's anything that's unclear or a variant you've been using, let me know about it.

First, the tutorial. Here's a link for a zipped version on Google docs.

Blogger's not letting me upload all of the images here, so I'll just put up my favorite image:

Japanglish Fantasy League Vocabulary #6

2011-03-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

Like all persecuted peoples, anime fans dream of escaping to a Promised Land, where they will be free from persecution. For the otaku, that Promised Land is Japan.

"Let my people Goku!"

It is true that your average Japanese person is more likely than your average American (or what-have-you) to read the occasional manga or buy a Tony Chopper cellphone strap. They also have about as much respect for rabid anime fans as they would for, say, animal tortue enthusiasts or flesh eating bacteria with poor table manners.

Or, Koreans

Upon arriving in Japan, foreign Otaku often find it easier to deny their nerdish interests, despite that being the reason they came to the country in the first place. Which brings us to today's vocabulary:

Notaku - n. 1). An anime enthusiast in denial.

2). "I'm not an anime fan, I just like Miyazaki films. Well, and Cowboy Bebop. And One Piece. And Berserk. And Hanaukyo Maid Team La Verite. And..."

3). 90% of English-speaking foreigners in Japan.

Usage: "Brad? That f***ing Notaku's wall of shame is twice as big as mine."

"Notaku? I'm not a Notaku. I just like Miyazaki films. Well, and Cowboy Bebop. And..."

Japanglish Fantasy League Vocabulary #5

2010-04-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

Japanese Dinosaur - n. 1). A Japanese woman who holds her handbag like the mighty Tyrant Lizard:

(I couldn't find a good picture, but this should give you the general idea)

2). The 45-year-old woman you picked up at Pure¹ last night.

See Also: Velociraptor, Louis Vuitton

1Pure - n. 1). An infamous foreigner pick-up nightclub.
2). A wretched hive of villany and English teachers.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

2010-04-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

I love me some Japanese food something fierce. It's one of the main reasons I came back (which seems like a really horrible reason, until you imagine having a craving for a tuna onigiri for two damn years). Sure, there are a few inedible things like umeboshi or natto, but in general, shit be delicious. The main exception to this rule of deliciousness is breakfast. The traditional Japanese breakfast is essentially the worst parts of lunch and dinner, with miso and rice.

Meanwhile in America Damn It, we got waffles, pancakes, sausages, bacon, omelets, biscuits, cereal, and occasionally, fresh fruit. And that's just a SINGLE DISH at Denny's. We haven't even gotten into such variations as the chocolate chip pancake or the biscuit sandwich. American breakfast is so freaking sweet, I will sometimes eat it three times a day. It is not a meal. It is an institution.

All Americans Always Wear American Flags. Always.

2010-03-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

So after drawing this comic, I realized it was this comic, in reverse. Oh well.

Newsflash: not everyone speaks English.

Newerflash: not everyone who speaks English speaks your particular brand of colloquial English.

Newestflash: you probably were already aware of this, but oh well.

From the book "101 Activities for Bored Foreigners in Japan"

2010-03-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

I have, in fact, done this, and it is, in fact, fun. The best is giving little fliers to the people who are giving out fliers, because it creates a sort of feedback loop of confusion that blows their friggin' minds.

Also I drew this:

Any caption ideas?

Japanglish Fantasy League Vocabulary #4

2010-02-23T17:45:00.000-08:00

Homodachi - n. 1). Your gay friend. 2). Your "Hetero Life Partner" 3). Pretty much anyone in the room at karaoke after five double shots of whiskey and "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

See also: Tomodachi, Homo, Bromance, Bro-hug, Good Game

Why we need this word: We don't particularly need this word, but it is fun to say. What's more, this linguistic corruption often gets a laugh out of native speakers too.

Frostbite frost bites

2010-02-22T14:57:00.000-08:00

So tired of winter without insulation. The worst is when we occasionally have a warm day, and you remember what not being cold all the time feels like, and then you want the world to die.

Japanglish Fantasy League Vocabulary #3

2009-12-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

J-Kaiwa - n. 1). A Japanese language conversation class, where you learn the passive verb form, and that your Japanese will never be as good as that of a 19-year-old Malaysian immigrant worker.
2). The serpent of English education swallowing its own tail.
3). What you will blow off for karaoke.

See also: Eikaiwa, Washed-Up Japanese Major, Ouroboros

Why we need this word: Because if you corrupt your English with words like this, it covers up the fact that your Japanese is not getting any better. Because you are too lazy to say "Japanese language conversation class."

Japanglish Fantasy Leage Vocabulary #2

2009-12-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

Sushi-Go-Round - n. 1). A conveyor-belt sushi restaurant, the concept of which frightens and confuses your grandmother in the way that fire frightens and confuses cavemen.
2). The single most delicious method of sushi transportation.
3). The signature move of the WWF's short-careered wrestler, Japan Man.
See: Kaiten sushi, Sushiro, Kappa Sushi

Why we need this word: Because your friends visiting from back home in Wisconsin are already skittish about eating raw fish and "conveyor-belt sushi" sounds rather unsanitary.

Japanglish Fantasy Leage Vocabulary #1

2009-12-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

Today, the first in a series of words that don't exist, but should.

Uncle Tomoki - n. 1). A person who has confused the term Japanese with the word superior.
2). An asshat who thinks he's Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai.
See: Uncle Tom, Weeaboo, Wapanese.

Why we need this word: Because these people are annoying, and the more terms we have to ridicule them, the better. Because nobody but a Weeaboo would know the word "Weeaboo."

The Bad Boys of Cookery

2009-11-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, so recently a coworker gave me a giant pear , around which was wrapped this ad for aprons:

This particular apron caught my eye:

Okay, so I understand "Bad Boy" is a popular clothing line or whatever, but seriously? A Bad Boy apron? Maybe it's for cooking up a big ol' batch of crack rock or meth or whatever. But this is the best part:

Just...no. No, Japan, no. We do not put dog tags on aprons, even if these aprons are designed with the bad boy market specifically in mind.

Elementary School Band Quarterly

2009-09-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

Kiseki.

Do any other ALTs have this problem? There was a time when I actually enjoyed this song, a time before the music teachers at both of my schools also decided they enjoyed this song, and that the marching bands should rehearse it non-stop. Now simply hearing the first few notes is enough to inspire a loathing that is surpassed only by the despair of contemplating how many more times I will have to hear it before the school year ends.

Andrew W.K. also did a cover of this song, which is a major thematic departure from his previous work, such as It's Time to Party, Party Hard, and Party Till You Puke.

The Circle of Dumb

2009-07-03T04:56:00.000-07:00

So there's a certain point in speaking Japanese (and probably any language), where you can communicate just enough to sound truly retarded. I am at this point. Because, you see, most people are mentally prepared for the basic mistakes. But it takes a true mastery of a language, a finesse if you will, to lure people into just enough of a false sense of security that you can drop a the reverse-Engrish bomb of epic proportions.

Anyway, I say stupid things in Japanese almost daily.

La Grippe Porcine

2009-05-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

Ah, the inevitable Swine Flu comic. I couldn't decide if the vehicle rushing towards our unfortunate background character should be a train or a bus, but it turns out that I'm incapable of drawing either. So we ended up with something that looks like neither. Quantum public transportation?

Also, I drawed a girl with a pig snout face mask:

Classy.

Unfunny Explination For An Unfunny Comic

2009-05-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

A note about the last comic. I know it was heavy-handed and unfunny and all. And I understand if the topic seems unimportant to the folks back home. But the article that inspired the comic was about Hamamatsu, and for me, that makes the whole situation horrendously unfunny.

Back when I did study abroad, me and a friend went on a trip to Tokyo and stopped off at Hamamatsu just to stretch our legs. As soon as we stepped off the train, we could tell there was something different about that town, and we fell in love with it. We ended up spending a few hours there, just wandering around, talking to people, and soaking up that amazing atmosphere. Maybe it was because we had been in Japan so long at that point, but it took a while to realize what it was.

Simply put, Hamamatsu was the only place in Japan I have been where people could not have given less of a shit that I am not Japanese. People didn't stare at us for being foreigners, they didn't do double-takes and avoid eye contact, they didn't go out of their way to avoid us. To be treated like a human being again, not a "non-Japanese," was frankly something I had forgotten was possible.

And to hear the leading lawmaker of Japan's fucking one-party system talk about that type of integration like it's a bad thing...it makes me so angry and depressed, I feel like I'm coughing up blood. It's things like this that make you wonder if Japan really has a future on the international stage. I mean, America has it's own assholes talking about putting up a fence to keep out illegal immagrants, but for fuck's sake, it's not like Nancy Pelosi is talking about paying the descendants of Americans to fucking leave the country and never fucking come back because we don't want their dirty fucking mixed blood. Fuck.

So yeah, anyway, I'll put up some more crudely drawn comics later, but this is not something I could let pass without comment.

On The Shooting Of One's Own Foot

2009-05-09T02:41:00.000-07:00

For real. This may be the stupidest shit ever.

I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of ass.

2009-04-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

Among other lies I have told innocent school children: I speak five languages, my next-door neighbors are (on the right) Jack Bauer and (on the left), Obama, and I secretly work for the CIA. And they find all of this more credible than my ability to use chopsticks.

The next step is, of course, the introduction of Martian Law.

Just as Nintendo has forever ruined the name "Mario" for Italians who are not, in fact, overweight plumbers, they have ruined "Yoshi" for Japanese people who are not giant dinosaurs with sticky, retractable tongues.

No Dude, I Speak Spanish

2009-04-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

Our model lesson plan actually went quite well. The topic was "What's your dream job?" and the most interesting student response was definitely "King of Games Card Shop Owner."

Oh You!

2009-03-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

Nostalgia

2009-03-19T23:14:00.000-07:00

I know the whole Somali piracy thing is kind of dated, but then again, so is the whole ninja vs. pirate thing.

Hoot And A Holler

2009-03-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Actually, people in Asago are far more likely to mistake me for a Canadian than a hillbilly. Then again, people back home are likely to make the same mistake.

And bizarrely enough, a Japanese guy called my school today (okay, so that part's not so weird). Apparently, he heard that I'm from West Virginia and wants to talk about bluegrass music? He was talking really fast, so I'm not sure exactly what he said, but this promises to be interesting.

2009-03-03T22:58:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so there are actually a bunch of comics I did recently that kind of...didn't work. So I'm going to post them all at once.

"Hiroshima Memorial Firework Festival"

Gaijin Card. Funnyish, but too similar to this comic.

Power-oke. When we do karaoke, we fucking DO IT.

This actually works, but...

So does this. There is nothing funnier than watching the little prematurely sullen bastards lighting up like a room full of Christmas trees.

But not for a spell-check. Or for teaching children not to stick their fingers up peoples butts.

Daisy Owl is Amazing

2009-03-02T01:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, so have all the webcomics kids discovered Daisy Owl yet or is this something I can feel smug about liking "before it was cool"?

The humor/art is somewhere between Pictures for Sad Children and Achewood, with just a dash of Calvin & Hobbes. Which is another way of saying it's insightful, creative, and wonderfully silly.

Here is an example of one of their many fine panels:

If you click on the panel, it will take you to the full comic.

I chose this panel because picking up children is basically what an elementary school ALT does all day, and I am worried that this ingrained behavior will carry over to other portions of my life. Like maybe I will be at a party and want to introduce myself to a person, but instead of shaking their hand like a normal person, I will instead pick them up, spin them around, flip them over my shoulder, and maybe give them a pile-driver.

Come to think of it, that may be how my parents met...

(Ben Driscoll, I hope you do not mind me putting one of your fabulous panels in my blog, but come on man, I compared your work to CALVIN & FREAKING HOBBES)

More Shinto Humor

2009-02-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

Magic Shinto paper strips.

Don't really like how this turned out. Thinking about redrawing it. Posting it so that I can move on with the comic instead of going to upload it and thinking "I should redraw this" and not posting anything.

Would feel bad about not drawing more often if I was horribly ill less often.

Makes Wicked Left Turns

2009-02-11T03:04:00.000-08:00

More Cutlery Humor

2009-02-03T17:29:00.000-08:00

A link for those familiar with Setsubun, the Festival of Beans

Yeah, I know Setsubun was yesterday, but it's still Febuary third in America...even though, you know, it isn't celebrated there.

Thought about including short descriptive phrases like "Western devils are evil tormentors blah blah blah" and "Japanese devils are the same, with chopsticks," but decided that was redundant. But this version seems to be lacking something. Dunno...this might have worked better as a four-panel.

Anywho, I have pneumonia in both lungs. Horray?

Nap Meeting

2009-01-27T23:11:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this counts as a proper comic. It's more of a neologism - hirune-kai, the nap-meeting. A foreigner working in Japan will have any number of hirune-kai in a week; long, boring meetings conducted in lightning fast Japanese that you can't understand, on topics that aren't relevant to you, about decisions you have no say in. So, I generally use this time to take naps. Thus, the hirune-kai.

Big Voice! Big Smile!

2008-12-28T10:42:00.000-08:00

Overpaid: strong yen, hired straight out of college, able to afford pretty much everything I actually want.

Underpaid; seven-year-olds trying to stick their fingers up my butt.

Right to Privacy Vs. Right to Privates

2008-12-21T15:24:00.000-08:00

This may be my favorite Demographic Crisis comic, if only for the use of the word "decriminalize." Also, obese anime fan is quickly becoming my favorite character.

And I just realized that my craptastic scanner cut off the word "crisis."

Resumé Stain

2008-12-11T02:33:00.000-08:00

This is one of those few solutions that might actually work...if you consider what Japanese students go through to get into an elite universities, I'm sure they'd be more than willing to pop out a few kids. The only question is if the Ministry of Education could manage to make sex as joyless and soul-crushing as the rest of the curriculum. And you know the kids would have to go to after-school classes too...which would bring a whole new level of weirdness to the term "cram school."

Oh, and I forget to mention this last time: this comic ran in the November issue of the Hyogo Times, a monthly newsletter for the local JETs. Which was pretty exciting :)

まわして！まわして！

2008-12-05T01:47:00.000-08:00

One of the first things they told us about teaching English in elementary schools is that you're not actually supposed to be teaching English. You're supposed to convince the kids that learning English isn't extremely difficult and miserable, it's fun. So we practice some pronunciation, play games, color pictures, and so on.

Of course, as soon as these kids get to Junior High, English class will become extremely difficult and miserable, mostly because the Elementary classes do nothing to prepare the students for things like, you know, reading and writing, because of all the games and whatnot.

At any rate, I'm not sure if my kids think English is fun, but they definitely think their teacher is hilarious, what with all the piggyback rides and kung-fu battles and noogies and such.

Update on comics: So my scanner and printer are cooperating again, but my computer refuses to accept that Photoshop is a program and not some sort of hideous computer version of super-aids. The basic result is that comics will go up, but they will be of even less quality than usual. So yeah.

Archnemesis: The Sporkinaut

2008-10-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

Before leaving for Japan, I took pictures of Jon and Justin eating with chopsticks, just to have proof that yes, some foreigners are indeed capable of performing this task. In terms of student interest, these pictures ranked much higher than, say, the state capital. Then I showed them these:

And told them that they were American chopsticks. Which they believed. One day, when they visit America and can't understand why the restaurants don't have giant novelty chopsticks, they will realize that they have just been hit with the punchline of a ten, twenty year joke.

Temptation, Unresisted

2008-10-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

"I'm not a gaijin! I'm an English-teaching alien!"

When You See It, It's Hilarious

2008-10-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all my fellow freshmen and freshladies in the JET Program.

I Say "Tomato," You Say "あぁ、ええと..."

2008-09-11T23:35:00.001-07:00

For an update about the comic, scroll down to the bottom.

In JET, we do what's called "Team Teaching." This means that a native English speaker will teach alongside a Japanese English teacher, because the English speaker has no teaching experience and can't communicate with the students in their native language and the Japanese teacher's pronunciation and understanding of the little intricacies of word usage may not be...perfect. Which, in theory, is a pretty good setup.

The problem is, I'm an Elementary School ALT. And the Japanese Ministry of Education decided that all homeroom teachers in Elementary schools should start teaching English, even though they already teach approximately 50 other subjects, are expected to be more involved in their student's upbringing than the parents, and have little to no experience with English.

Which can be just a touch annoying when you're trying to make lesson plans.

I'm halfway decent at Japanese overall, but my weakest area is definitely the spoken language. When forming a sentence beyond the difficulty level of "I like dogs!", I usually end up spouting a slew of incomprehensible gibberish. The worst part is, my listening skills are good enough that I can actively realize how little sense I make in real time.

And even this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't in the Kansai region. Trying to understand the Kansai dialect is like trying to figure out a fast-talking hillbilly's opinion on immigration reform, while said hillbilly is undergoing a severe stroke. やねん？

I have found away around the first problem though. No matter how confusing my Japanese may be to the other teachers, it's infinitely less terrifying than the alternative: English. After rattling off a few sentences in the mother tongue, they're more than happy to put up with my Japanese. Guess they prefer I be the one who sounds like an idiot?

COMIC UPDATE:

Comics are delayed until I get a scanner. On the bright side, there are plenty of new ones to go up once that condition is met.

Pffff!

2008-08-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Actually, I'm pretty excited about teaching.

Sadaam It All To Hell

2008-07-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

The black text for him/red text for her was the best workaround I could think of for a really lazy layout. Oh well.

And I guess they are supposed to be coworkers, which is why they are both wearing suits?

I Like It Hot Hot Hot

2008-07-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

Back when I worked at Subway, we would write "Japs" on the drive-thru slips for "Jalapeños." We put the slips in the bags to tell the sandwiches apart, and I always worried that one day a Japanese person would order Jalapeños, see the slip, and sue us.

Not that there are many Japanese people eating in West Virginia Subways, but still...

Hibachuu

2008-06-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know how to use chopsticks. GET OVER IT.

Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die

2008-06-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

And it WOULD be fun. For me. But what's not so much fun is losing your job for saying "mother effer" in front of a bunch of elementary school kids.

I can actually be quite professional when I'm not on the IIIIINEEEERRRNEEEETTT.

2008-06-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Domo (Domo) Domo (Domo)

2008-06-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

2008-06-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

I have the vague feeling that I've seen this joke somewhere before, but seriously, whatever.

2008-06-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah, it's been a lot of yellow fever jokes lately. They can't all be penetrating commentaries on vital Japanese social issues. And this one was just so tasteless, I couldn't resist.

I'm going back to Japan as a JET this year, so maybe that will generate some fresh material.

Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose!

2008-06-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

I hope this is self-explanatory.

2008-04-01T09:09:00.001-07:00

Three April Fools.

The Man is Quite Nice Once You Get To Know Him

2008-03-19T13:22:00.001-07:00

All the fun of self-righteousness, none of the mess of real oppression.

60 Degrees

2008-03-14T10:24:00.001-07:00

Watch your ~~p's and q's~~ r's and l's.

I cannot bow for shit and hate you for being good at it.

トイレ立会い

2008-03-10T09:34:00.001-07:00

It's a poop joke.

Hey hey hey come to my bar real cheap lots of ladies

2008-03-05T13:19:00.001-08:00

So. I couldn't decide if this one was kind of racist or extremely racist. Then I realized that all of these comics are at least borderline racist, so to hell with it.

For those of you who don't get the reference, clubs and bars in Tokyo tend to hire really, really big Ethiopian bouncers. These guys are huge to the point where you wonder if starvation is really a problem in Africa.

Anyway. Gary Gygax of D&D fame died yesterday, and Penny Arcade created what must be the greatest tribute to any human being, ever.

And there go my nipples again

2008-03-03T13:49:00.001-08:00

There is a Japanese word for insulation (断熱), but you wouldn't know it from being in a Japanese apartment for more than two minutes, let alone living in one. In the winter, it can actually be warmer outside if you're in the sunlight.

Gaijin Invasion

2008-03-01T12:36:00.001-08:00

This comic is a tribute to Adam and Joe Go to Tokyo

2008-02-29T05:48:00.001-08:00

Oh God I drank too much coffee last night and now I still cannot fall asleep even though it is almost 9 o'clock in the goddamn morning.

Comic based on a close encounter of the actually somewhat creepy kind.

2008-02-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

No explanation needed.

The first new comic on the new site. Horray.

2008-02-26T22:16:00.001-08:00

This is it! The last of the Facebook comics! Tomorrow starts the new material, the big, beautiful, shiny, new material. Hopefully, it is enjoyable.

2008-02-25T10:04:00.000-08:00

All hail Azrael, inventor (perfector?) of the Gaijin Smash.

My friend Rich actually used the term "Smashter Card," and it was AWSOME.

2008-02-22T22:55:00.000-08:00

Bleach/Naruto would also work.

If you do study abroad, please do not be the guy (or gal) who sits in the dorm watching shit he downloaded from the internet all the time.

2008-02-21T18:55:00.001-08:00

Another ripped-directly-from-life comic.

2008-02-20T08:02:00.001-08:00

Dude flying in background: "Kusooooo!" ("Shiiiiiiit!")

Yeah, that didn't work out so well last time.

Only four more old comics! Are you excited? I am excited! Also: JET interviews this weekend! Are you excited? I am excited!

2008-02-19T13:25:00.001-08:00

It's almost impossible for a non-Japanese person to become a citizen of Japan, even if your family has been living there for three generations. Essentially, the only way to become a legal citizen is to marry a native, and even then, it's not a sure thing.

Then again, this is coming from the society that discriminates against ethnic Japanese whose ancestors worked "unclean" jobs. Even though those jobs aren't considered "unclean" anymore. So really, the Koreans are kind of screwed.

2008-02-18T08:44:00.001-08:00

Apologies to Red Robot World Domination for using Red Robot...but not being red...or really looking all that much like Red Robot. Yeah.

2008-02-13T17:18:00.001-08:00

I seriously want this to happen, at least once.

2008-02-11T13:26:00.001-08:00

Come to think of it, I don't even know if I've ever met a Jewtalian honey.

Link.

2008-02-10T06:51:00.001-08:00

Click on the image to see its full, glorious resolution.

"The Ex-Exchange Student's Dilema"

Dedicated to Rich.

2008-02-09T18:44:00.001-08:00

This is the worst comic I have ever made.

2008-02-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

No commentary necessary.

2008-02-07T14:34:00.000-08:00

Drinking while smoking reduces the risk of lung cancer. It's an actual fact for real.

2008-02-06T10:56:00.000-08:00

Lucky Strikes are actually pretty good. But part of me wonders if people like them for the novelty value. And another part of me thinks that the novelty value kicks ass.

Contrary to popular belief, re-posting all of these old comics is extremely boring.

2008-02-04T15:08:00.001-08:00

LOL substance abuse.

2008-02-01T06:38:00.001-08:00

Or maybe they just don't want to go drinking with me. *single teardrop*

2008-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Not all anime fans are creepy, but there are always creepy anime fans.

This comic is not entirely accurate as in Creepy Anime Guy is actually talking to a girl.

2008-01-30T06:40:00.000-08:00

This is only funny if you are familiar with Shinto, the clapper, and are heavily medicated.

2008-01-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

In Soviet Japan, porn censors you!

But seriously folks, I misspelled "cencorship."

2008-01-26T18:11:00.001-08:00

Maybe the playing with guns would be fun...

2008-01-25T09:17:00.001-08:00

Six months of study abroad in in the Osaka area convinced me that I couldn't speak a dang word of Japanese. If I hadn't gone to Tokyo and heard people using standard Japanese during Golden Week, I probably would've given up on the language.

You would think I would be bitter about this, but I'm really just amused.

2008-01-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Salaryman: "Mada aka!" = "It's still red!"

Based on a true story, only the person who yelled that at me was an old woman in a wheelchair.

2008-01-23T12:17:00.000-08:00

Based on a true story. Also, it turns out that you're supposed to squat TOWARDS the hump, not away from it. The more you know...

2008-01-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

There was a point where Japanese males refused to talk to me unless they were completely drunk. Don't get me wrong, I like talking to the ladies, but the thing about learning another language from the ladies is that you end up sounding like a lady.