Japanglish Fantasy League Vocabulary #3

J-Kaiwa - n. 1). A Japanese language conversation class, where you learn the passive verb form, and that your Japanese will never be as good as that of a 19-year-old Malaysian immigrant worker.
2). The serpent of English education swallowing its own tail.
3). What you will blow off for karaoke.

See also: Eikaiwa, Washed-Up Japanese Major, Ouroboros

Why we need this word: Because if you corrupt your English with words like this, it covers up the fact that your Japanese is not getting any better. Because you are too lazy to say "Japanese language conversation class."

Japanglish Fantasy Leage Vocabulary #2

Sushi-Go-Round - n. 1). A conveyor-belt sushi restaurant, the concept of which frightens and confuses your grandmother in the way that fire frightens and confuses cavemen.
2). The single most delicious method of sushi transportation.
3). The signature move of the WWF's short-careered wrestler, Japan Man.
See: Kaiten sushi, Sushiro, Kappa Sushi

Why we need this word: Because your friends visiting from back home in Wisconsin are already skittish about eating raw fish and "conveyor-belt sushi" sounds rather unsanitary.

Japanglish Fantasy Leage Vocabulary #1

Today, the first in a series of words that don't exist, but should.


Uncle Tomoki - n. 1). A person who has confused the term Japanese with the word superior.
2). An asshat who thinks he's Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai.
See: Uncle Tom, Weeaboo, Wapanese.

Why we need this word: Because these people are annoying, and the more terms we have to ridicule them, the better. Because nobody but a Weeaboo would know the word "Weeaboo."