The Circle of Dumb

So there's a certain point in speaking Japanese (and probably any language), where you can communicate just enough to sound truly retarded. I am at this point. Because, you see, most people are mentally prepared for the basic mistakes. But it takes a true mastery of a language, a finesse if you will, to lure people into just enough of a false sense of security that you can drop a the reverse-Engrish bomb of epic proportions.

Anyway, I say stupid things in Japanese almost daily.

La Grippe Porcine

Ah, the inevitable Swine Flu comic. I couldn't decide if the vehicle rushing towards our unfortunate background character should be a train or a bus, but it turns out that I'm incapable of drawing either. So we ended up with something that looks like neither. Quantum public transportation?

Also, I drawed a girl with a pig snout face mask:


Classy.

Unfunny Explination For An Unfunny Comic

A note about the last comic. I know it was heavy-handed and unfunny and all. And I understand if the topic seems unimportant to the folks back home. But the article that inspired the comic was about Hamamatsu, and for me, that makes the whole situation horrendously unfunny.

Back when I did study abroad, me and a friend went on a trip to Tokyo and stopped off at Hamamatsu just to stretch our legs. As soon as we stepped off the train, we could tell there was something different about that town, and we fell in love with it. We ended up spending a few hours there, just wandering around, talking to people, and soaking up that amazing atmosphere. Maybe it was because we had been in Japan so long at that point, but it took a while to realize what it was.

Simply put, Hamamatsu was the only place in Japan I have been where people could not have given less of a shit that I am not Japanese. People didn't stare at us for being foreigners, they didn't do double-takes and avoid eye contact, they didn't go out of their way to avoid us. To be treated like a human being again, not a "non-Japanese," was frankly something I had forgotten was possible.

And to hear the leading lawmaker of Japan's fucking one-party system talk about that type of integration like it's a bad thing...it makes me so angry and depressed, I feel like I'm coughing up blood. It's things like this that make you wonder if Japan really has a future on the international stage. I mean, America has it's own assholes talking about putting up a fence to keep out illegal immagrants, but for fuck's sake, it's not like Nancy Pelosi is talking about paying the descendants of Americans to fucking leave the country and never fucking come back because we don't want their dirty fucking mixed blood. Fuck.

So yeah, anyway, I'll put up some more crudely drawn comics later, but this is not something I could let pass without comment.

On The Shooting Of One's Own Foot

For real. This may be the stupidest shit ever.

I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of ass.

Among other lies I have told innocent school children: I speak five languages, my next-door neighbors are (on the right) Jack Bauer and (on the left), Obama, and I secretly work for the CIA. And they find all of this more credible than my ability to use chopsticks.


The next step is, of course, the introduction of Martian Law.


Just as Nintendo has forever ruined the name "Mario" for Italians who are not, in fact, overweight plumbers, they have ruined "Yoshi" for Japanese people who are not giant dinosaurs with sticky, retractable tongues.

No Dude, I Speak Spanish

Our model lesson plan actually went quite well. The topic was "What's your dream job?" and the most interesting student response was definitely "King of Games Card Shop Owner."

Oh You!